To commemorate our glorious victory and new title of "Kansas City Kickball Champions," I'm going to post a letter from our Captain. This letter was received a few weeks ago and it pretty much sums up our entire season.
Captain’s Log:
Alright,
squadron. Great game last weekend. For those who weren’t there,
here’s the run down: With the game moments away from starting, we only
had 8 of the 10 players needed for a full team. The other team was
warming up, taking kicking practice and running very intimidating team
drills. To say our mood was solemn is an understatement. We began
questioning ourselves and doubting our abilities. It was even suggested
that perhaps we concede defeat or offer to settle the matter with
paper/rock/scissors or leg wrestling or some other feat of strength that
would allow us to save face and avoid a humiliating defeat at the hands
of such an intimidating team.
We
huddled quietly. Nervously looking about for additional players to
show. No one was in sight. The official told us to take the field, so
we slowly and aimlessly wandered out to the field to try and figure out
how 8 people would fill 10 spots. Through efficient placement and
spacing, we were able to compensate for our shortcomings and mount an
effective defense. The first inning past and the teams were scoreless.
Slowly our confidence began to thaw. Yes we were outnumbered, but we
had hope and most dangerously – we had nothing to lose.
Then, just as we were about to take the field again in the 2nd or 3rd
inning, Jared and Lisa came strolling up to complete our team. We were
finally at full strength, and there was no looking back. Finally we
could blare our Van Halen’s “Right Now”, Kid Rock’s “Ba-Wit-da-ba” and
for some odd reason setting repeat for LFO’s “Summer Girls” with pride!
Seriously though, Gerken. Expect numerous complaints this week if LFO
is still on your playlist.
Long story longer, we won 6 -1 and now have a slight edge in the 3 way tie for 1st
place in our league! Something else I noticed this past weekend, we
play significantly more women than any other team (i.e., we often have
at least double the number of women in the field than other teams). We
are about 50:50 men to women, and our women have stepped up huge this
season. Great job, ladies! From advancing runners to scoring runs to
fielding balls, our women have proven that we are a solid team all
around, and I have to admit that I take a certain amount of satisfaction
in beating guy-loaded teams, and we’re going to get that chance again
this weekend.
Here’s
the deal: Games at 2 and 3 this weekend. First up is the Jersey-shore
team that beat us. They’ve faltered lately in the standings, but are
still in the 3-way tie for 1st with us. This game is
crucial, because if they win then we cannot receive a top seed for
playoffs. I would love to see that mouthy punk shoot his lip again with
Lisa and Jessica both on the field – oh, it’s already been broughten.
We then play the 2nd place team, whom we have not played yet.
As
you begin carbohydrate loading and peak training in anticipation of
this weekend’s games, just remember the Offspring lyric that inspired
our team name. Was it: “slightly under the influence of mild
intoxicants and secretly desiring to innocently flirt?” NO! It’s:
“Drunk Again and Lookin to Score!!” Let’s do it again team! 4 weekends
left until playoffs. Now is the time for you to redeem yourself from
all of those repressed nightmares from the grade school playground. No
longer will innocent bystanders inquire of you, “Is your name ‘Easy Out’
or is that an affectionate nickname from the opposing team?” No, from
this day forward, you are a fierce kickball warrior who has tested your
mettle against the most daunting of challenges. You pity the fool who
dares pitches to you a slightly bouncy slow roller on the outside corner
of the plate. And most of all, you restore sportsmanship and
winning/losing gracefully to its rightful place as the golden rule.
Who’s with me, and who’s fired up?!?!
Yours in kickball,
Captain White