1 shower time

My sister is having a baby soon and I have showers on my mind. I have found so many beautiful inspirations for her day.

Here are a few of my favorites...

0 weekenders

Happy Friday! We are so looking forward to a beautiful 60 degree weekend. IN FEBRUARY! 

I foresee a little patio action in our future. And maybe a glass (or two) of wine. 

I swear....this winter has spoiled us. 

0 Love the Orphan

Designer, Drew Melton, created this beautiful artwork for the organization Love Without Boundaries. The design is being sold as a T-Shirt on Sevenly.com. This site uses art to create awareness about a various number of charities. Their motto is "One Design. One Week. One Cause." This week, $7.00 of each t-shirt sale goes straight to Love Without Boundaries. So far, they have raised $8,400 for the organization. Let's take on the challenge to meet their goal of $10,500. Only four days left!

5 Wink.

Those little birth control pills I've been taking? I'm over half way through. Four days left, to be exact.

It's kind of crazy. I know that the past few months have gone the complete OPPOSITE of anything I would have hoped, but this forced "time out" has given me a chance to recharge. I feel refreshed. I've been running and going to the gym. I've been reading, and even drawing a lot more. I'm not overly anxious or excited about our next cycle - just ready for where it takes us. Either way, we'll be one step closer to knowing where our path will turn next.

Also, I hate to dismiss the fact that the BC pills are making my boobs grow. A lot. To the point where Tim has even questioned if I am, in fact, pregnant. When you're a barely-there A cup, trust me, that's a BIG DEAL. (For both of us. Wink.)

0 vintage printables

I often see gorgeous photo walls and envy all of the beautiful images. Last week, I stumbled upon a great resource, Vintage Printables. They share high resolution images of everything from technical drawings to art reproductions to old photographs and maps - all out-of-copyright and free! They have some really amazing stuff.

I have only seen a glimpe of their collection, but here are a few of my favorites...

 

Have fun searching through all of the wonderful Vintage Printables!

0 Dear Tim,

0 passing the torch

That boy just makes me smile!

Happy Friday! I hope everyone has a great weekend! For us? I'm gladly passing the birthday torch to Tim. It's his turn this weekend!

1 the good & the bad

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be my "old self" again. I feel like our struggle and stress has impacted me so much that I really have changed. Some of the changes are wonderful, but some of them I fear will be lasting.

The good..

Prior to our conception failures I thought that bad things only happened to other people. I felt invincible. Like nothing would ever happen to us. In my mind, we were living our fairy tale. We fell in love, got married, had a blast living that young couple life, and were ready to continue our adventures by having a family. I found it a harsh reality that bad things do, in fact, happen to really good people. They happen to people like us - people who seem to be doing everything right. All of that "stuff" that I had deemed perfect before didn't really matter anymore. This process has given me an opprotunity to see beyond myself and to see that I really have little control over things. Our life is truly in someone else's hands. It is scary, yet freeing knowing that as long as I am doing the right things for myself and my family, everything will work out.

This process has also opened my eyes to other people. I had never really considered what other people were possibly going through. I mean, if this was happening to us, who else was struggling with something? Something even more devastating. I have become more sensitive towards others and their own situations, trying not to get offended when someone snaps back, or just seems reserved. I am seeing much more than I had before - feeling even more connected to people...knowing that we all have our own pain.

The bad...

With all of that good comes some bad. I would consider myself a very happy person. I truly have no complaints. Since our infertility, though, I have seen a shift in my mood (not all of the time, but a good 30-40%). I have become more cynical, annoyed, and frustrated. I notice myself harping on Tim more - over things that, in retrospect, don't even really bother me. My brother even pointed out my furrowed brow and how it seems to constantly be there. I hate this part of me - yet I know it's completely normal to be stressed during a situation like this. I just fear that when we do get pregnant, we will be going from one stressful situation to another and that I will have no recovery time. No time to snap back to reality.

Life is stressful. I get that. When this is all said and done, there will be something new to stress about. That is what keeps us human. I have grown tremendously through this process and many things I would never take back. But I always wonder, will my happy-go-lucky self ever return? Or is this just the next chapter?

I guess it's something only time can tell...

0 true love

I know it's a day late...but Happy Valentine's Day! This is an image of the card I made for Tim. I drew the typography and then sent it to be made into a stamp.  I still have to figure out the best way to stamp it and which papers take the ink best, but all in all, I think it turned out really nice. And now that I can stamp it an unlimited number of times, I hope Tim doesn't mind getting the same Valentine's card forever and ever and ever.

Tim, I love you! and truly couldn't imagine a day without you.

0 Hello, Winter!

Winter showed up!!

0 #26

 

Here's to year #26! 

1 birthday weekend

That boy really knows how to make me happy! I had a birthday weekend adventure that included Friday night wine tastings, homemade deep-dish pizza, coffee and muffins at my favorite coffee shop, a tour of The Roasterie (a local coffee roaster), a walk over to Boulevard (a local brewer) for a tour and tastings, lunch at the Bluebird Cafe, and dessert at Cupcake A La Mode. We threw in a few naps and some drinks with friends to top everything off. Ahhh....couldn't have been more wonderful and relaxing!

0 just call me captain

YAY!! It's FRIDAY!! This has been a loooong week. Stressful (from my appt. and work has been a bit crazy). I woke up crabby this morning, but I refuse to have another crabby Friday. I refuse to let the stress of life ruin my day. Because, let's be honest. My stress is NOTHING compared to so many others. So, here's to a great Friday and an even better weekend. One, that hopefully includes a few glasses of wine, sleeping in, and cuddling up with my love. I can't think of anything more relaxing.
Have a great weekend! See you guys Monday.

2 close

Tim and I have this weird thing...we like to be close to each other. Not in a gross way, but in an "I have more fun when I'm with you" way. More often than not, that closeness happens in our office. It normally consists of loud music, pinning, designing and blogging. I am normally sitting in a chair with the laptop while Tim takes the desk (afer all, he is actually making money in the office. Me? I'm just having fun blogging). The problem? I start to get a wee big uncomfortable after about an hour with that laptop actually on my lap, in a chair that's meant for occasional sitting (translate: it is super uncomfortable). We need a desk that accommodates both of us, without taking up more space (or a large chunk of cash). Fortunately, we have two filing cabinets and a "leg" from our current corner desk (which, we really love, it's just too darn small for the both of us) - all we need is a new top.

Tim wanted a wood surface that would be even, so that we could still draw on it without having a texture come through the paper. It took me a while to be convinced not to use reclaimed wood planks, but eventually I agreed. So, we scouted out our hardware store and came home with a solid piece of cabinet grade plywood. I sanded, stained, wrapped the edges, and polyurethaned until the wood was perfectly smooth. I rearranged our filing cabinets and voila - we had a new desk - with a gorgeous wood top and enough room for the two of us to work together. 

It's not huge, and it's not anything fancy...but it works perfectly! I'm looking forward to getting a lot done...together.

Next? Those mismatched chairs. They're going to drive me crazy...time to start searching Craigslist.  

0 globes + MAPS

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1 uneasy

I was feeling a little uneasy with the way things were left last week at the doctor. So, I called the NP and asked if there was any more information we could gather or anything I could do to prevent this same thing from happening again. She completely understood that sitting in the "I wonder" stage was not going to help me at all. I went in on Saturday for more blood work. This time, we check to see if I was ovulating (seeing as I had two nice and big follies at my sonogram, she was pretty sure I would ovulate soon). Come to find out, I was not ovulating, actually my levels were going down. I was reaching "baseline". I went in today to get another sono to see if the old eggs were shrinking up and to check my lining. We found that my eggs were not shrinking, in fact, more were being made. So, this month I will be on birth control, in hopes that my lady parts will get a fresh start for next month. Fingers crossed.

3 awesome



best. nap. ever.

Things that can only be explained with the word "awesome" that happened this weekend...

1. Dancing around the house to Black Key's "Lonely Boy" to celebrate the fact that it's Friday!
2. When the good looking guy at happy hour came over and hit on me, in front of my husband. And then the fact that my husband couldn't stop talking about it all night - reminding me that the guy was right...I am the most beautiful girl in the room.
3. Upgrading our TV to a flat screen. Hello 21st century!!
4. Getting to costco and finding out that their enormous pizzas are $3 off. So you get one and eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all weekend.
5. Waking up from a Saturday afternoon nap feeling like we just woke up from a coma. Best. Nap. Ever.
6. Making a new desk top for the office. Which means, very soon, we will be able to work at the same space at the same time. Woo Hoo.
7. Sending my first drawing in to be made as a rubber stamp. And then pre-selling a dozen Valentine cards to my family/friends.
8. And finally, coming home with two grocery bags full of leftovers from my parent's Super Bowl party. MMMMMmmm!

Have a great week!

0 intrigued

I keep questioning Tim about what we are going to do for my birthday (I know I said I require a week...but let's be honest with ourselves, I require an entire month). Apparently he bought a Groupon that he's very excited about, but I don't recall it at all. And he won't let me check our account. I'm not expecting anything fancy, but I am a little intrigued. Hmmmm....twenty questions begins.

3 styleboard 8

 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

I really LOVE this nursery board. It feels so fresh, yet really comfortable. It reminds me of the days right before spring - when you can smell the ground thawing, and the tulips are creeping up. When the house is filled with fresh flowers and summer vacations are being planned. 

Side Note: The dresser reminds me of this one I bought. I have yet to do anything with it, but after seeing the one above, I have a huge urge to paint mine. I love the quirky "socks" they left wooden, and seeing as I'm already obsessed with "socks"...I'm pretty sure it will happen. 

 

 CLAYTON GRAY - Dahlia Round Mirror, $350

This picture wall is from one of my all-time favorite nurseries - check it out.

ALLEN + ROTH, Bronze Edison $119

1 not the other way around

I have been to the RE's office dozens of times and I can only count on one hand the number of times I have left with an actual smile on my face. There is just something about that place that brings tears to my eyes.

Today I went in for my baseline sono and bloodwork. Remember, I started my period yesterday. It's been different though - very light and no cramping (normally I'm bent over aching all day). Regardless of the oddity, in my mind this IS my period...cramps or no cramps...it has been almost 6 weeks since my last one. This is it.

When I got there, the NP did my sono and found two mature follies hanging out in my ovaries. Not just mature, but really mature - bigger than any eggs I produced with any meds. After checking my bloodwork, it was determined that (even though I am on my period now) I have not ovulated, and will probably have another period soon. I'm sure you're thinking...WHAT THE HECK? Because that's precisely what when through my mind! I'm pretty sure the nurse was stumped on this one, too. Does my body not know how to do it's job at all??

Hey Body, in case you forgot...I'm pretty sure the order is:

1. Make eggs
2. Ovulate those beauties
3. Have a period

Not the other way around!! Oh yeah, and if you want to skip step 3 and actually make a baby, I would be okay with that!!!!

Either way, I was proud of myself. I made it out of the office door and into the hallway before the tears began.

0 welcome back, february

This is the card Tim got me last year for V-Day. That, along with a real life horseshoe 

that I hung next to our bed. Nothing wrong with getting a little lucky in bed. 
HAMMERPRESS

I always get excited for February. Winter is half over, the tulips begin poking out of the frozen ground, and most importantly, my birthday week is near! Since I was a little girl, no matter what day of the week my birthday has fallen on, I have always deemed the entire week "My Birthday Week" and somehow, I've convinced everyone else of it, too. Tim always surprises me with little getaways or romantic dates and always makes sure to differentiate my birthday from Valentine's day (they are one day apart), I take a few days off of work (really...working on your birthday is no fun!), and we make sure to go to my favorite restaurant with the family. I have to say, it's really quite fantastic. 

Welcome back, February! Oh, and thanks for rolling in at a warm 60°.