We are three months out of infertility treatments, and I'm still being haunted. It seems like every time I get the mail, here is a bill in there from the RE's office. I quickly open them only to find ridiculous amounts that we owe. I always call to double-check the amount (because each bill says something different) and they always tell me that we don't "really" owe anything. They say that insurance will cover some of it...they say I have a previously paid credit that will cover the rest. They say to call in a few weeks if I receive anther bill because, more than likely, everything is fine. FINE? Then why haunt me with these bills? Why not keep it to yourself and send me a FINAL bill that has everything taken care of? One that says EXACTLY how much we owe! My point is, I don't care how much we owe - whatever it is, it was totally worth it. I wouldn't take back the time, energy, or money we spent trying to get pregnant. What I do want is for the reminders of that failure to stop. Let me pay...and be done. DONE.
On the same note...a friend of mine who just had a baby keeps complaining of medical expenses related to the birth and such. Every time she starts complaining, my mind wonders and inside there I scream at the top of my lungs...
"BUT YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER! YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD!!! STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH THAT COST...not to mention, it was a FRACTION of what Tim and I spent on fertility treatments and we have NOTHING to show for it. NOTHING!!!!...except a dwindled bank account...because guess what? Insurance companies laugh in the face of fertility treatments!!! THEY LAUGH, JUST AS YOU BEGIN TO CRY!!!"
7 comments:
wow...this is so true. you couldn't have said it more perfectly. It makes you think that you should always be careful about what you complain about and who you are complaining too!!!!
I too struggled to get pregnant. Seemed so easy for so many. Even had someone suggest trying in the back seat of a car since that only seems to take one time{as if}. Have you considered when the rawness wears off adopting? We did and liz has been a joy. I hope there is some peace ahead for you two,
Tim and I are sure that we will adopt...but right now we're just feeling out the waters of "just us" without quickly rushing towards something else and seeing where that takes us for the time being. Hopefully during this time, we'll research and investigate what kind of adoption and where.
The fact that infertility treatments cost so much is truly a kick in the gut. It really sucks. I'm incredibly irritated by how the medical system and insurance companies downplay the significance of infertility. Nobody covers it. Our appointments get pushed back because they aren't "important". Yes, it's not life threatening but it's so painful for people to tell you it's not a priority. Or ask you over the phone "what's the hurry?" when you're trying to schedule an appointment within the next 4 months to find out why the hell you can't get pregnant after 3 years of trying.
I hope your bills come to an end soon and you can have some peace from it.
I am so, so sorry to hear this. There is NOTHING worse than being constantly reminded (from EVERY angle) what you are dealing with. I am one of the fortunate ones who finally (after 3.5 years of very $ treatments) had success and we now have a 6-week old child. I am very aware of the money we spent but i will NOT complain about it. It was worth every single penny and while we don't plan on embarking on treatments again, i am thankful we spent every penny we had (and didn't have). Insurance companies can suck it and so can anyone who has the balls to complain to you about their medical costs associated with having a baby (with or without fertility treatments). Thinking of you and hoping / praying that everything will work out how you want it to.
Meredith - you're right. I would NEVER complain about the money spent...quite frankly that was the LEAST of my worries. PS. CONGRATS!!! I am keeping up with your blog and that little guy is adorable!! I hope you're having a blast with him.
Christine - WHAT JERKS!! I am so sorry you're being pushed around. When you finally do have your appointments, you'll have to keep me in the loop. I'm thinking about you two!
- Samantha
I tend to avoid my pregnant and new mom friends because I just can't take another complaint...but I'm the bad guy in their heads.
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