2 captain's log

To commemorate our glorious victory and new title of "Kansas City Kickball Champions," I'm going to post a letter from our Captain. This letter was received a few weeks ago and it pretty much sums up our entire season.

Captain’s Log:

 

Alright, squadron.  Great game last weekend.  For those who weren’t there, here’s the run down:  With the game moments away from starting, we only had 8 of the 10 players needed for a full team.  The other team was warming up, taking kicking practice and running very intimidating team drills.  To say our mood was solemn is an understatement.  We began questioning ourselves and doubting our abilities.  It was even suggested that perhaps we concede defeat or offer to settle the matter with paper/rock/scissors or leg wrestling or some other feat of strength that would allow us to save face and avoid a humiliating defeat at the hands of such an intimidating team. 

 

We huddled quietly.  Nervously looking about for additional players to show.  No one was in sight.  The official told us to take the field, so we slowly and aimlessly wandered out to the field to try and figure out how 8 people would fill 10 spots.  Through efficient placement and spacing, we were able to compensate for our shortcomings and mount an effective defense.  The first inning past and the teams were scoreless.  Slowly our confidence began to thaw.  Yes we were outnumbered, but we had hope and most dangerously – we had nothing to lose. 

 

Then, just as we were about to take the field again in the 2^nd or 3^rd inning, Jared and Lisa came strolling up to complete our team.  We were finally at full strength, and there was no looking back.  Finally we could blare our Van Halen’s “Right Now”, Kid Rock’s “Ba-Wit-da-ba” and for some odd reason setting repeat for LFO’s “Summer Girls” with pride!  Seriously though, Gerken.  Expect numerous complaints this week if LFO is still on your playlist. 

 

Long story longer, we won 6 -1 and now have a slight edge in the 3 way tie for 1^st place in our league!  Something else I noticed this past weekend, we play significantly more women than any other team (i.e., we often have at least double the number of women in the field than other teams).  We are about 50:50 men to women, and our women have stepped up huge this season.  Great job, ladies!  From advancing runners to scoring runs to fielding balls, our women have proven that we are a solid team all around, and I have to admit that I take a certain amount of satisfaction in beating guy-loaded teams, and we’re going to get that chance again this weekend.

 

Here’s the deal:  Games at 2 and 3 this weekend.  First up is the Jersey-shore team that beat us.  They’ve faltered lately in the standings, but are still in the 3-way tie for 1^st with us.  This game is crucial, because if they win then we cannot receive a top seed for playoffs.  I would love to see that mouthy punk shoot his lip again with Lisa and Jessica both on the field – oh, it’s already been broughten.  We then play the 2^nd place team, whom we have not played yet. 

As you begin carbohydrate loading and peak training in anticipation of this weekend’s games, just remember the Offspring lyric that inspired our team name.  Was it: “slightly under the influence of mild intoxicants and secretly desiring to innocently flirt?”  NO!  It’s: “Drunk Again and Lookin to Score!!”  Let’s do it again team!  4 weekends left until playoffs.  Now is the time for you to redeem yourself from all of those repressed nightmares from the grade school playground.  No longer will innocent bystanders inquire of you, “Is your name ‘Easy Out’ or is that an affectionate nickname from the opposing team?”  No, from this day forward, you are a fierce kickball warrior who has tested your mettle against the most daunting of challenges.  You pity the fool who dares pitches to you a slightly bouncy slow roller on the outside corner of the plate.  And most of all, you restore sportsmanship and winning/losing gracefully to its rightful place as the golden rule. 

 

Who’s with me, and who’s fired up?!?!

 

Yours in kickball,

Captain White