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I love this door. Always have. I imagine it opening to some wonderful faraway place that has rainbows and butterflies and fields upon fields to run through.
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I know this is a bit dramatic...and trust me, I wish it wasn't exactly how I feel, but as I was driving to work today I felt like the world had stopped. As though I was in a bubble floating down the highway, unaware of everything around me. Yet, the world hadn't stopped at all. Everything was still moving, the sun was coming up and life was continuing. It's a weird feeling...but almost a comforting one. When I feel like everything around
me is crashing down - and when my own bubble is exploding with sadness - I am reminded that life still goes on. Instead of being stretched out in bed with tears running down my face, I'm driving to a 7:30 meeting. The sadness gets tucked away, and a smile gets plastered to my face. Life goes on.
4 comments:
I was so hoping and praying you would have a positive test. I have to share with you a story that might make you smile, at least a little. One time after our first or second IUI (can't remember now) I was to test on a Saturday and then had to go into work to help with a training. the test was negative and I was so so sad. But, like you said I had to plaster a smile on my face and go on with my day.
My partner who was running the training decided to do an opener question and the question was, "how many children do you have and what are their ages". Could she have chosen a worse question?! When it got to me, I manged to say I didn't have children pretty well, then she said to me, "well, do you at least have a dog?" No joke, she actually said that word for word. To which I also had to respond no! We have two cats. I excused myself and completely fell apart in the bathroom. I can kind of laugh at it now, more at how unreal it was that people actually say stuff like that. It was awful, could not have been a worse morning. The only thing I can say looking back is that I know I'll never be that insensitive to anyone. I am much more aware now of the fact that when you interact with someone you have no idea what's going on beneath the surface. I've learned to be sensitive and gracious. So sorry for your news. I know how it feels...
So sorry, friend.
Jjoy - Thanks for sharing your story - it is amazing what people say. My favorite is when people ask when Tim and I are going to have children and I respond with a simple answer like "when the time is right" or something to get them to stop asking. Their response is always a schpeal about how we must still he "having fun" and "aren't ready" and it's a good thing that we are "waiting" because it's important to be ready when we finally do have kids. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I read on someone's blog to respond with "Why do you ask" when they people ask about children. I've started doing that, and it shuts them up pretty quick because, honestly, the people who ask are the ones I have ZERO intention of ever telling them about my situation. By asking "why do you ask" it puts the question on them and hopefully they realize it's none of their darn business.
Sorry..one of those days.
Again, though - thanks for your support. and its nice to know that I'm not the only one surrounded by inconsiderate people.
The "why do you ask" response sounds like something I should try! Usually I use the vague "when the time is right" or "hopefully sooner than later" but yeah, some people take that as an opportunity to tell you how the time will never be "right" for children, how really the earlier we start, the better, etc...
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